Candace Owens ‘Supreme Court docket’ Tweet Goes Viral As Breyer Set To Retire

"Candace" Hosted By Candace Owens

Candace Owens is seen on the set of “Candace” on January 24, 2022, in Nashville, Tennessee. | Supply: Jason Davis / Getty

While a lot of America continues to be questioning what the hell Candace Owens does precisely, the Dolores Umbridge of the Sunken Place thinks she’s trending on Twitter as a result of “America” desires her to be the subsequent Supreme Court docket Justice now that Justice Stephen Breyer is ready to retire.

Now, earlier than you all begin laughing yourselves right into a mini coma, it’s doable that is one of many causes she’s trending. In any case, President Joe Biden has pledged to appoint a Black girl for the place and most white conservatives actually solely know one Black girl they wouldn’t mistake for a Goal worker regardless of her not carrying a purple polo and khakis.

MORE: Each Receipt Proving Candace Owens Is A Con Artist Who Is Following The Cash

(Additionally it’s not like one wants authorized expertise or some other {qualifications} to be a U.S. Supreme Court docket justice in addition to being 35 years previous, born within the U.S. and a heartbeat. In any case, America is so “distinctive” one might really work at Goal on Monday and be ready to set authorized precedent from the best court docket within the land by Wednesday.)

However solely melanin-deficient individuals who assume showering every day is a authorities conspiracy as a result of huge pharma is injecting vaccines into their cleaning soap need to see Owens on the bench—the remainder of us simply need her to GO TF AWAY! However since that isn’t more likely to occur anytime quickly, I’ve taken the freedom of compiling a brief listing of jobs she’d really be good at and is well-qualified for.

Like most individuals, I’m certain there are days when Justice Clarence Thomas doesn’t really feel like going to work. Now, I don’t know if justices get sick days or PTO, but when not, Thomas can simply have Owens sit in his spot and mumble a bunch of anti-Black sh** white folks love to listen to and nobody would even discover he was ever gone. (White folks even assume Black folks from Home Negro Depot all look the identical, so it simply would possibly work.)

2. Minnie Mouse dporn director.

Owens would possibly assume she’s solely trending as a result of white folks assume she’s sensible sufficient to be a justice when she’s not even sensible sufficient to evaluate a Pepsi/Coke problem (she’d simply see two brown sodas and say, “That is clearly Crucial Race Idea”). However she’s additionally trending as a result of she was not too long ago on Fox Information whining about Disney briefly placing Minnie Mouse in a blue and black polka dot pantsuit as an alternative of her traditional purple and white polka dot skirt.

Owens known as the changewhich, once more, shouldn’t be everlastingin keeping with Newsweek, it’s an try and “destroy materials of our society,” however we all know what her gripe is basically about—however will nonetheless trigger the destruction of the spank banks of weirdos who seemingly actually simply need to put their heads up Minnie’s skirt. 

I’m simply saying, there’s a PornHub class for the whole lot and Candace would possibly as properly go forward and capitalize.

Hear, Tucker Carlson clearly desires to have intercourse with an M&M (he desires them to soften in his mouth and his hand). That’s the one doable motive why he’s so deep in his emotions concerning the brown M&M cartoon being “much less horny” as a result of she’s not too long ago been depicted carrying low heels and tennis footwear as an alternative of excessive stilettos.

Clearly, Carlson is jonesing for some brown sweet pores and skin occasion although he doesn’t appear to be very keen on Black and brown folks, and that makes Candace good for him since she’s additionally a white supremacist in a brown shell. However Owens continues to be human (I assume) and never cartoon sweet (once more, I assume), so Carlson might be not going to need to make candy chocolate like to her. And since Owens co-signed his saltiness over the M&M cartoon design change whereas she was whining about Minnie’s pantsuit, plainly an ideal job for her could be discovering M&M women who’ve ended up on the road after shedding their means in life and put them in a pair of stilettos and show them for Carlson and his weird-a** fettish. (I’m not judging, although.)

4. Black buddy for rent. 

This one is fairly self-explanatory. White folks get caught saying or doing one thing racist and they should conjure up a “Black buddy” to vouch for his or her claims that they don’t have a racist bone of their our bodies. (Someplace on the earth there are bigoted skeletons wandering round ready for his or her homeowners to say them. See, there’s one now—wait, sorry, that’s simply Candace Owens.)

Hear, I can go all day itemizing the right jobs for Owens (range rent crash dummy, Clayton Bigsby trend line mannequin, negro scrub-away ointment producer and many others.). However everyone knows she’ll by no means sit on a U.S. Supreme Court docket bench. I imply, what’s subsequent, a actuality TV host {and professional} chapter claimer with no governing expertise turning into president?

Oh…dammit.

SEE ALSO:

Candace Owens Suggests ‘Extraordinarily Chubby’ Folks Lack Ethical ‘Authority’ To Promote Vaccine

‘First Feminine President’: Tweet Mocking Candace Owens And Stacey Sprint Goes Viral

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